From Protest to Praise

Support raising has been a little discouraging lately. That always seems to be coupled with a certain sense that I must not be doing enough. Things seem to run in cycles and I either have a ton to do, or nothing at all. Last weekend I placed about 10 calls to share about GRM with people, and as of yesterday had not heard from anyone. So I did all I knew how to…Pray! I got alone with the Lord and actually wrote a chorus to the Hymn "Immortal, Invisible, God only Wise!" The chorus was simple but from my heart..... "I praise you, I praise you this day; I praise you....Lord show me the way".


Later that night I visited with a dear friend who is struggling to battle cancer. I was shocked by how sick he was, but in the moment felt such grace to listen and encourage him and his wife. With some hesitancy I shared how I often think of him in my quiet times. In no way am I dying or facing death, but in many ways I feel a moment by moment panic and fear in my heart. It seems to be my own will protesting the fact that I have no control over my circumstances but only have the choice to rely on God and cry out for his help. My friend was so gracious to invite me into that place with him without feeling my comments trite or insensitive. They said that I was "like family to them" and that they always saw me in missions.

So I picked up my guitar and began playing this hymn for them.

"Unresting, Unhasting, and silent as light, Nor wanting, nor wasting, thou rulest in might;

Thy justice like mountains high soaring above, Thy clouds, which are fountains of goodness and love."

I felt a wave of God's Spirit rush over me and got choked up. I came to this place to encourage my brother and was being ministered to deeply myself. We were all in this bedroom singing to a God that we were desperate for, asking Him for Faith and Courage to walk on water in order to be in His presence. I was also amazed by something else......his wife continued to sing when I couldn't and her voice was powerfully singing this chorus I had written like she knew it already......it was like the Spirit had given her my song and I was humbled in that moment that she was singing it to me and her husband as well. Wow!

I'm not sure why, but there is something about living in desperate places that allows you to see a brighter glimpse of God. Anyway, the next day I began receiving gifts. I'm constantly aware that these gifts are always the voice of God speaking profoundly into my heart. This time He was saying, "look to me and be desperate for my help and find your blessing by giving to others". So today my heart has moved from Protest to Praise!!