From Protest to Praise

Support raising has been a little discouraging lately. That always seems to be coupled with a certain sense that I must not be doing enough. Things seem to run in cycles and I either have a ton to do, or nothing at all. Last weekend I placed about 10 calls to share about GRM with people, and as of yesterday had not heard from anyone. So I did all I knew how to…Pray! I got alone with the Lord and actually wrote a chorus to the Hymn "Immortal, Invisible, God only Wise!" The chorus was simple but from my heart..... "I praise you, I praise you this day; I praise you....Lord show me the way".


Later that night I visited with a dear friend who is struggling to battle cancer. I was shocked by how sick he was, but in the moment felt such grace to listen and encourage him and his wife. With some hesitancy I shared how I often think of him in my quiet times. In no way am I dying or facing death, but in many ways I feel a moment by moment panic and fear in my heart. It seems to be my own will protesting the fact that I have no control over my circumstances but only have the choice to rely on God and cry out for his help. My friend was so gracious to invite me into that place with him without feeling my comments trite or insensitive. They said that I was "like family to them" and that they always saw me in missions.

So I picked up my guitar and began playing this hymn for them.

"Unresting, Unhasting, and silent as light, Nor wanting, nor wasting, thou rulest in might;

Thy justice like mountains high soaring above, Thy clouds, which are fountains of goodness and love."

I felt a wave of God's Spirit rush over me and got choked up. I came to this place to encourage my brother and was being ministered to deeply myself. We were all in this bedroom singing to a God that we were desperate for, asking Him for Faith and Courage to walk on water in order to be in His presence. I was also amazed by something else......his wife continued to sing when I couldn't and her voice was powerfully singing this chorus I had written like she knew it already......it was like the Spirit had given her my song and I was humbled in that moment that she was singing it to me and her husband as well. Wow!

I'm not sure why, but there is something about living in desperate places that allows you to see a brighter glimpse of God. Anyway, the next day I began receiving gifts. I'm constantly aware that these gifts are always the voice of God speaking profoundly into my heart. This time He was saying, "look to me and be desperate for my help and find your blessing by giving to others". So today my heart has moved from Protest to Praise!!

Meeting Scheduled

I spoke with Dr. Beasley last week on the day of the "hurricane hunker down". I will be having a conference call with the board next week (Sept.4th). Here is my agenda.
1. Mission Trip Idea (our church’s part in Georgia and extending legth of Middle East trip)
2. Best time for a trip to Phoenix: September 12th Arab Women today
Check it out at www.awt.com
3. Fundraising receipt process (monthly? Account number for GRM)
4. Salary (am I under budgeted?)
5. The Shpiel/summary sheet (how my home mtg's work)
6. Blog
7. Ideas about housing: keep eye out for temporary housing
Pray for this meeting to go well.
Pray for God to direct me to the right people and that those I persue will call me back!
I'm also starting to persue area church's. Dr. Beasley and I are speaking every other week so that is getting me excited!

It's all about him!

Isa 64:4 "No eye has seen any God besides you,who acts on behalf of those who wait for him." I had two meetings with families last week to give my official presentation (a.k.a. "The Shpiel") about GRM. I left both meetings feeling discouraged...there is a constant self analysis in fund raising that makes me second guess my delivery. "Did I do enough? Did I say the right things? Did I pray enough? Was I listening to the Spirit to see where people are connecting with this ministry? Did I close with a challenge?" Anyways, I'm learning a lot about all this and I do truly believe that I'm calling people to Kingdom work by supporting. However, God loves to use my desperation these days to push me to him and I'm growing so much in that area. The next morning I was reminded in time with the Lord that this is all about him and not about Caye and how good she is. In reality, I'm a weak vessel but I know he wants to shine in my weakest moments. I recieved a call that morning from a lady in our church. "Do you know who I am?", she said. "I know your name but am unsure of your face". She went on to tell me how she knew me in High School and has followed my journey. She said she had a small gift for me to pick up. (I was thinking it would be $20, which is still thoughtful.) I stopped by and she wanted to hear about GRM. As I began to share I realized it was my first time sharing without my laptop guiding me. She had such a heart for the Muslim world and I began listening to where God was connecting her heart with mine. We spent an hour just sharing and at the end she handed me an envelope. As I drove away I opened it and there was almost $200. I began crying because God had just used this lady to whisper his thoughts: "It's not about you, Caye. It's about me....keep holding my hand and keep listening to my voice....your on the right path"

Don't you get it? I'm sleeping in your boat!

Lessons on Faith (Mk 4:35-41 )
So often I forget where my faith is supposed to rest. I place my faith in what I can hold and clutch and control with my own hands. I place my faith in bailing bowls (like the disciples in the storm) and I toil and strive to keep my ship afloat on my own strength. I often invite God in on MY terms and give him my small mechanism’s and solutions and then ask him to start bailing with me. I can picture Jesus waking up and wiping the sleep from his eyes and with a grin rising to his feet. I can feel him touching his hand to my shoulder and saying, Quiet, Be Still. As if he is saying to me, “Don’t you get it?”. Your ship can’t sink. This boat and all that is in it are in my command and if I’m in your boat you need not worry. Put down your futile little bailing bowl and hold my hand. I’m in your boat, I’m right here…put your faith in me and all will be still!

My First GRM Blog

I'm excited to report that I have raised 30% of my support and am still on schedule to be leaving for Phoenix in January. Thanks for taking this journey with me. Your support means more than you know!