Ripple Makers

When someone you love dies, you don't lose them all at once. You lose them in pieces over time, like how the mail stops coming. What I remember most to this day was my mother's scent and how I hated it when it began to disappear. First from her closets, then from her dresses she had sewn herself and then finally from her bedsheets and pillow cases. (Simon Birch).

Loss and grieving seem to be something that you can't put in a box or bottle up or schedule in the palm pilot. It just hits you unexpectedly at different moments and for different reasons. One thing is for sure...it really makes you think about eternity. To know someone's reality is no longer here because it is there just makes heaven more tangable.

I really had a sweet time going to Florida for Jeff McCay's funeral. I got to see all the kids and visit with Liz one morning. They are all so strong and it blows my mind how they are now possessing the faith that Jeff had during cancer. It's hard to believe he's not on the earth anymore. But the service was incredibly worshipful and it was great to see so many people who had been touched by his life in some way.

Our lives are really like ripples you know. I don't think we get to see the effects in big tidal waves very often. Sometimes it's easy to feel like we are not making any difference at all. But the impact of one life in the waters of peoples lives creates movement like a ripple effect that continues to move forward. Jeff created ripples and inspired me (very firmly at times) to make big leaps of faith toward God's work. May we all live to be ripple makers....greatness is often found in the mundane everyday part of life.

Birthday Blog!

So inquiring minds have asked how my Birthday was. It was this Thursday, May 7th and as the day approached I knew it was going to be a day I missed home. So I asked a friend to fast and pray with me the day before my birthday. My hope was that it would help me focus on the Lord and the life he has giving me. Well, I awoke at 5 am on my Birthday thinking about Jeff and the family. I couldn't sleep so I got up. I was tired most of the day but the GRM team took me to my new favorite place called "Jason's deli" for lunch. Alyssa got me carrots, socks and some cool foot cream for after workouts. Kristin got me a dolphin figurine to remind me of Florida. The day was niether great nor horrible. I was tired though and was a little homesick as I drove home and listened to the VBC youth group sing happy birthday on my voicemail. I miss the students a lot. It's funny because out here I'm starting to get a reputation of "that girl who worked in youth ministry".....As most of you know I'm not wired to spend the day in an office but right now God is establishing a relationship base that will just take time. I spend much of the day in a cubicle writing material and working on projects and missions trip plans. It won't always be like this but the people here think it's funny when I start throwing things over my cubicle (carrots, silly putty, etc.). I actually don't mind the reputation because I was brought here to reach younger women and that's what God has gifted me at. So don't worry, I'm not changing for anyone.

Anyway, I went home and checked the mail and found about 8 cards that made me so happy. I got all sorts of cards from family and friends and I think God kept us from checking the mail till that moment so it would really lift my spirit. I then went to our firs identity class called "Who do you think you are?". Kristin is teaching it and I'm absorbing it for a newer generation of delivery. It will be taught every Thursday (2hrs) once in the am and once in the pm. To my surprise they had also thrown a little party for me where they got me this tart dessert with strawberries and cookie crust and blueberries. Perfect. There was even a balloon and a gift (cool smelling lotion).

After the class I got home to find my room mates had a little party for me. They got me a cupcake and I blew it out. They got me a box full of little things I like (dried fruit, kettle corn, trail mix, face scrub,and a hiking book). I felt very loved as they prayed for me before bed. So all those who love me and wanted to know about my birthday.....just know there are people here that are loving me too........kind of a surprise, I know but it was a special day and I'm greatful for 31 years of God's grace.
Love ya,
Caye

Jesus is my Friend!

So I just became a fan of "Jesus" on facebook (FB). As I clicked on his face I thought...."how crazy is this?" And yet what a great reminder that 'Jesus is my friend'. And yes, I'm a fan of his but he is a much bigger fan of me. He made me and crafted me with gifts, passions and even longings that can only be fulfilled by Himself. "We love him because he first loved us". And I'm so glad he first loved me because he has drawn me into an incredible adventure in this life. He has given me the "Abundant Life" (John 10:10). And I can't imagine living without the purposes he has given me in serving him.

Up On the Mountain
This weekend I rode my bike up the steepest mountain in the area. It's called "South Mountain". It's 6 miles up and 6 straight down. Now being a Florida girl I'm not so familiar with mountains but I did do a lot of spinning and we simulated mountains. I was using parts of my bike I've never used before (like the lowest gear). The first couple miles were torture as I tried to figure out how one proceeds up a mountain on a bike. But I was so inspired by the challenge that I kept saying "Caye, you can do this". I quickly figured out that I needed to be in a low position, a low gear and I needed to keep a constant cadence in my pedal stroke. I was only going like 6 mph but I was making progress. At one point there was a little chipmunk in the road on the other lane. I had never seen a chipmunk before but I swear he was taunting me. He was hopping right next to me, in the same direction and he was going AS FAST AS I WAS. I smiled as I imagined him saying the words in a chipmunk voice, "Alvin, Simon, Theadore". It must have taken around 1 hour but as I began the ascent down I was listening to Steven Curtis Chapman sing:

I said I'd go, Lord, wherever You lead
For where You are is where I most want to be
And I can tell we're headed for the valley
My faith is strengthened by all that I've seen
So Lord help me remember what You've shown me
Up on the mountain

I can't tell you the worshipful time it was cruising down mountain with those words. Of course, I was desperately clutching my brake as well:) But it was beautiful scenery that I could have only enjoyed by first going up the mountain. Sometimes it's so much harder seeing the summit on the way up. But we have to trust that God is leading us there and if we keep pedaling and hearing his voice say, "You can do it".....we will reach the top.

If your on the mountain or in the valley I hope your strengthened by knowing the Lord is with you. And where he is .... that's where we most want to be.

What a great week it has been. We had a GRM retreat up at the Beasley's cabin 2 hours away. We spent a lot of time casting vision and making overall goals and plans. It's amazing to think about femaile leaders in other countries and what they may need. We want to know the final product of where we are leading them and to see everything we do fitting into that process. Discipleship is truly a process though and in other cultures things don't always fit in our linear paradigm. We recently got to spend time with a Romanian female leader who is a point person for our next trip in October. She was so fun to be with and had such passion for the women in Arad. We are planning a women's retreat for her key women who help run Mom's groups and also a pregnancy ministry to counsel women about keeping their babies.

This weekend I am at a Josh McDowell conference at SBC (Scottsdale Bible Church). It's great stuff I know I will re-use in teaching others.

Ultimately, I have really sensed God's presence here telling me to be patient. I really can't force things or rush them. And in the absence of deeper community I am being forced to the foot of the cross and Christ is more than enough for me....everyday and every minute. I can see his hand calling me to write about discipleship and so I'm developing a training class that I may someday get to teach to other women about relating to the younger generation.

I have really enjoyed the outdoors here. Biking, hiking, rollerblading, and swimming at Cactus pool for only $2 a session. The air is dry and cool right now and when your working out you feel like you can go so much harder without the humidity.....I have to drink a lot though so I've ripped out my camel pack....I guess I am part camel now.

I visited a church last weekend called SunValley and it was amazing. It is a 35 minute drive but it may be worth it to get involved there.

I am truly greatful to be on this journey and know that he is growing in me more to use for his Kingdom.....may i be faithful to his call.